How much is that doggie in the window?
First things first, my apologies go out to all those who check here on a regular basis and have probably come to the conclusion that I suck at updating. I know, without a job to interfere, why dont I post more often? Well, the truth is that right now I have very little to post that would interest anyone. Hell, it depresses even me!
My life consists of alot of the same ol' stuff. I sleep too much, spend alot of time searching through job listings for companies who want more for less, and my list of hobbies and time consuming interests has grown eponentially. The big killer is that I have 'way to much time to think'... to ponder my mistakes, to consider my current place in the universe, and roll around the various decisions that have made my life what it is now. Lets just say it keeps me busy.
One big move in my life comes to mind. I should have taken gods little hint and done it as soon as I lost my job. However, I have a beautiful baby boy who just turned 1, and I couldnt miss that. I am a selfish bastard, my future happiness in life takes precidence, but If I hadnt been able to be there and get to know him I would have missed something amazing.
Being jobless is very emaculating. Its horrible to feel free, to have the time to do so much, yet moving to action takes so much more than I feel I have. Luckily I have had alot of family in recently, to fill time and remind me that I have a wonderful group of people backing me no matter what. I would rather have the winning Powerball ticket ($160mil) but realism wins and here I still am.
Things have taken an odd turn, not to paint a morbid picture. I lost my job of seven years, which frees me to move onto something else... if I can find anything. My son Corwin turned 1, and it was a wonderful time, even if it made me think of the first 8 months I missed out on. My major source of happiness & love in life has taken a minor sabatical, leaving me feeling high and dry. Its hard enough to be in love with someone you cant be with, I cant help worry that I have lost her forever. A friend of mine passed away recently, leaving a few very dear and close friends in an emotional mess. I attended the memorial where it was good to see the many people I had missed for so long, but the circumstances tainted the mood.
So I am back, at least for now... I hope to remember to post new stuff soon.
In memory of Jojo:
My love goes out to the family and friends of Jojo. I hope Emily knows how much all of her friends care for and love her, and would so anything for her. To Jessica and Lloyd Walder also, as they have stuck by them even through the hardest times.
posted by Jeff Rowe Tuesday, October 21, 2003 | permalink> | 1 comment