Wednesday, October 30, 2002 - 1 comment

I want to sell Merkins Door to Door…

I am a fountain of useless knowledge… and lately I have been scooping from the ether more than my usual share. Things from the Radio, books, Tv… everywhere. Why does my brain choose to remember these things and why do they seem to actually pop out of my mouth during conversation? Tootsie Roll commercials might have had it right… The world may never know!

Useless Trivia

An overweight man can expect to gain up to 1” of penis length for every 35lbs he looses.

The Moon is receeding from the earth 1.5” every year.

Merkin’s are wigs made to be worn on the pubic regions.

This last weekend I never did make it to Kevin’s. Thought I did wind up at Rob’s on Sunday night for ‘The Soprano’s”. We even got KDX Server & Client running, even if not perfectly. Saturday night I went out with Leah for her birthday, we picked up Kelly from Milwaukee’s Northside and headed to downtown, the Water street bars. They had a huge costume contest going and had blocked off part of water street for it. Lots of funny ass costumes everywhere… and lots of cute girls wearing damn near nothing. Not to bright either caused it was FREEZING. I even wound up talking to a girl outside one bar who was dressed up as a Cheerleader but would have made a much better glasscutter [wink] There was even a guy wandering around completely naked except for Saran Wrap around his crotch… wrapped just thick enough to obscure things. Eww…

My secondary plans of checking out ‘8 Mile’ were shot down by the simple fact that the damn movie isn’t out yet [grin] and or coarse being broke didn’t help.

I am a smart guy, so I am trying to figure out why I am not doing something with that. Why don’t I have my own business or sidework where I can make extra cash? I do occasionally manage to do Website work for Jrawley Personnel Solutions in San Antonio, Texas. Ali hooked me up with that and its nice, but I would be great to expand on that. Hopefully we have some extra business coming from that job. Anyone want to hire me to help design their website? Mine needs a revamp, but I just cant figure out what I want to do…

This next weekend is mostly open. Nick, one of the IS bigwigs here at work, is having a Halloween Party. The theme is Sci-Fi… not sure if I will dress up or not. If anything I will go just for the free beer [grin] To bad Ali cant be in for it, but I hear she has a work party she will be going to. I’d take Leah but I don’t think she would be able to get someone to watch the kids, and I think Nick might choke her to death if she talked to much [when doesn’t she?]

Asta la taco…

posted by Jeff Rowe Wednesday, October 30, 2002 | permalink> | 1 comment

Friday, October 25, 2002 - 4 comments

Stop, Drop, now do the Robot!

I recently got my hands on a ‘copy’ of “Real Girls Strip Poker” and guess what? My Win98 Machine is so messed up that when I run it, it blanks out the pictures area of the game… thus not allowing me to see the girls, their current state of nakedness, or anything other than the damn poker game. If I wanted to just play poker I would have downloaded Hoyles Cardgames CD. Talk about disappointment… Guess I need to move my junk off the drive and Reimage. I think XP will be the new OS, Windows98 is just not doing it anymore. Besides I now have 2 other boxes running Linux, I need at least One Windoze Boxen to do the dumb stuff with.

I have managed to go 2 weeks without Starbucks! This isn’t for any respectable reason. I am not boycotting, choosing a healthy lifestyle, cutting my sugar/caffine/whatever intake… I merely just have been too poor to be wasting $4.40 every morning on my horrible addiction to “Venti Easy ExtraShot Mocha’s”
(Obligatory Steve Martin reference: ‘Half-Café Double-Café Decaf with a twist’) So here I am, its payday, and the first thing I do on my way into work is get cash and go hit the Starbucks. Damn I am wired… its almost more fun when you stop for a while and then drink a lot of caffine. My heart is jumping like a Tweeker… “I am a golden god!” [When did I get so old that caffine is my drug of choice… pathetically scarey… I don’t even drink hardly anymore]

I will say it once again, though I desperately mean it this time… I need to redesign my site! I am so sick of this layout, but I never have time to sit down and redesign it from the ground up. Not to mention all the piecemeal ‘it works for now’ type stuff I did to get this site to work… I just don’t want to Eff it up. Anyone have a cool idea for the basis? Seen an awesome site that you think I should take a look at/steal from/hijack? Email me and let me know. Just as a note, the standard ‘More Naked Chicks’ response will be ignored… unless you are volunteering pictures of yourself (sidenote: yes, females only ‘grin)

This weekend is actually kinda booked up. Surprisingly. I have tentative plans to go hang out with Kevin in Kenosha to check out his new Apt (never saw the old one) and help him with his network stuff. I am trying to talk him and Rob into running KDX (written by which is actually a pretty cool tool. Its like a small Client/Server BBS program. You run the server over a decent net connection and if done properly it provides a basic Encrypted graphical interface to a mini BBS… File serving, Message Base, Chat, News. It works at decent speed, and would provide us with a nice little distribution network for stuff we want the others to check out. I still don’t have broadband… I hate my cable and phone company…

Also on my plate for this weekend is Saturday night I am going out with Leah and some other people to do a little advance ‘Birthday Party’ thing with her. She is planning on enjoying herself… it has been a lot of months since she was able to go out and get silly. Don’t know where we are going, when, or with who… so if you want to come with then get ahold of me at my place tonight or tomorrow…

That’s about it. I am supposed to go hang with Rob also this weekend… help him get the KDX running too. See if he likes it. I also have a desire to go see “8 Mile” this weekend… the reviews are incredible and I love Eminem. It looks to be a great movie. I want to see ‘Jackass’ too, but $8+ is just too much to waste on that kinda crap… way too much!

Peace Out to all you Motha’s!

posted by Jeff Rowe Friday, October 25, 2002 | permalink> | 4 comments

Thursday, October 17, 2002 - 2 comments

Dear Readers, I am God!

The world seems to be a bit bleak lately… Illinois has gone from nice warm weather, direct to bleak and cold Fall (verging on Winter) the leaves haven't even changed yet, and I freeze my ass off every morning getting out of bed. I am regretting having bought a cheap digital thermostat w/o the programmable timer. I have already had to dig out the winter jacket… woe is me!

This whole sniper thing is crazy, now a war brewing with Iraq, and Sadam with his 'Vote for me or Die' campaign. It amazes me that we have managed to get this far… it makes the 'Mutually Assured Destruction' fear from the eighties seem like nostalgia. Sometimes I wonder if the right thing to do is to help stop this stuff or join in… how much can a sniper rifle cost anyways?

Sweetest day is coming this Saturday… proof positive that people will celebrate just about any damn thing given a reason. I love the idea, but this Halmarkian holiday also brings out my bad side. I hate the raw consumerism it reeks of, especially when I can't celebrate it with my significant other. Its like the world didn't give me enough crap on Valentines day so they came up with this to rub my nose in it a little more.

"Nothing"… that has been my weekend plans for weeks, and still it is. My P's bought me a ticket to some 60's museum reunion show in Arlington Heights this Saturday night. I will go roll with them and check it out. A lot of 60's musicians will be there, including our family friend 'Jimmy Rogers' of "Jimmy Rogers and the Maud's" fame. It will help me shake these 'sweetest day' homicidal urges.

Anyway… on to the mindless stuff… cool news and happenings…

Here is an interesting new story that probably won't ever make it anywhere mainstream media. If it does then it will be interpreted or explained wrongly. The Linux Distribution company Red Hat Inc, released an Errata Bug Fix for their newest Release, and instead of explaining what the fix was for, they simply point the user to another site… who is providing the description and explanation of the fix… but with a required legal disclaimer. You see, the joke is that legally, Red hat can be sued under the DMCA (Digital Millennium Copyright Act) for providing information that would allow someone to illegally access their OS. The DMCA is so broadly termed that basically, even if you provide a patch or fix, even providing basic information that might allow someone to illegally access or bypass security is as illegal as the actual act. In order to agree to the legal contract at you have to attest that you are not a US citizen… and thus not bound by the DMCA.
This series of oddball requirements is a form of protest, to show the absurdity of the DMCA law.
It hinders the business process more than it helps… how long till a Class Action lawsuit is brought against Microsoft for this very type of thing? Its absurd, but if a fashion I think they would deserve it. They have used the DMCA as their own shield enough… time to whack them with it.
Article >

It seems that a recent study has found that Redhead's require 20% more anesthesia than people with other hair colors. Its an interesting fact, the normally would lead me into a series of jokes about it explaining why the redheads always get away when I kidnap them. Maybe even a few screamer sex jokes… I will let you all fill them in the comments k'?

For those awaiting new book releases like me… we have a good one coming soon, and a final and hopefully correct release date for the new Stephenson. Infamous Computer hacker Kevin Mitnick is releasing his book on Social Engineering titled "The Art of Deception: Controlling the Human Element of Security"is already on the shelves in book stores While Neil Stephenson's long overdue "Quicksilver" is finally slated for a January 2003 release.

Lawmeme is a Yale University site Blog type site that focus; on Technology, Policy, and the Law. Well they recently released the 3rd installation of their "Law School in a Nutshell" online articles. Apparently the idea is that an enterprising geek should be able to put their mind to it and learn to read and write legalese. So they used a few example cases and walk you through the basics. I am reading them when I get the chance… never know when it might come in handy.
Here are the Links to Part 1,
Part 2,
Part 3

Check ya L8r

posted by Jeff Rowe Thursday, October 17, 2002 | permalink> | 2 comments

Monday, October 14, 2002 - 1 comment

All the worlds a stage… now act like you care.

I wish I had something witty to post, some cool tidbit of information, something worthy to announce, brag about, or ramble about, but I don't. There are a dozen little things I could happily rattle on about, but I just don't feel like it. For some reason, lately I have so much to say that I cant narrow it down, or so little I cant bring myself to bother.

Well, here I am, forcing out an update for all those who have recently emailed me with the kind reminder to "update your god damned site"… to you all I dedicate this monotone and depressing post.

Dear Abbey has recently gotten a couple actual requests for real advice… apparently Bill Jarrett has narrowed this down to a mistake on my part. You see, Dear Abbey is actually spelled "Dear Abby"… so when you search for the misspelled version on google you get my site in the top 5 links and the first one that lets you submit emails. Now this is a good theory, except that my site shows no referrals from search engines with any criteria related to "Dear Abbey" and yes, I can see that shit. If you locate my sight by searching Google for some nasty and discusting thing… I can track that. So the Mystery is still there… and the letters are posted. Check it out… The advice isn't guaranteed, though I will back it until you actually read it or attempt to put it in use. I don't claim to have any special insight other than being me.

Zoe turned 2 this last week, and as luck would have it she also recently broke her femur. So lets all wish Zoe a happy (yet crippled) birthday. She actually has a full high high cast that keeps her from sitting normal. Go Leah… a newborn and a cripple… how does she manage?

Leah's Birthday is coming up soon, and she is planning something around the 27th. A night of drinking and fun. She hasn't drank in ages, I figure we can get her hammered after 3 drinks and then sell her and her children to roving gypsies… anyone up to help me out?

Ali's Birthday is also on the way… November 7th. Its really too bad she isn't up here so we can all take her out and live it up. I know she wishes we could all be there to spend it with her.

Peace Out!

posted by Jeff Rowe Monday, October 14, 2002 | permalink> | 1 comment

Tuesday, October 01, 2002 - 4 comments

Whats my name Fool?

This last weekend was certainly typical for me lately... I am a boring person as of late. I literally came home friday, called some people and then watched TV and did some computer junk until 2am. Saturday I went to the Allstate Picnic ( Mom's annual work event) and all I did there was eat and sit. That night was more of the same, never managed to hook up with Joe, so I stayed in and watched TV some more. Sunday I did things around the house (cant tell, cause its still dirty as hell) and then went to my Aunts Birthday party (Joe's was sunday also, but I had already promised to goto my aunts) Then that night it was "Soprano" night... [guilt trip on] I had hoped that Rob and Debbie might have another Soprano hangout night, but I had never heard back from them from the night before so I figured they were kicking back and watching it in quite for a change. [end guilt trip]

Saturday was Joe's Birthday []. He did hid bday dinner on Sunday downtown… first dinner at Reza's which was either 'Deletable' or 'Delectable' (not sure what he emailed me) and then down the street to see the play 'Too much light makes the baby go blind' which has been running in Chicago for as long as I can remember. Wish I had been able to make it… Happy bday Joe!

I always try to provide the world with access to a lot of ideas of things to buy me should you suddenly decide to shower me with gifts… well here is one that has a high 'coolness' factor… in actuality it isn't anything other than a collectable, but the history of it is amazing. You can now go onto Ebay and Bid on one of Kevin Mitnicks Laptops that was confiscated by the FBI. This is just a 486 Toshiba… but it is signed by Apple's Woz as well as Mitnick himself (why woz?) I had always heard he had mostly used a SUN Laptop… guess I might be thinking of someone else. Too bad they didn't leave any of the Evidence on it [wink]

L8r d00dz!

posted by Jeff Rowe Tuesday, October 01, 2002 | permalink> | 4 comments