Wednesday, July 31, 2002 - 2 comments

And on the Seventh day God played PinBall

Ok... I seem to have little to post lately. I find myself taking stupid quizes and doing dumb searches on the web. So in my rounds of friends websites, looking and hoping for an update or something, I found the 'Whos your Type?' quiz at

and [Drumroll] my type is the.... *Bad Girl*

The Description is:
No prim and proper goody two-shoes for you. You like your women a little bit jaded and experienced; in a word bad. When you watch "Grease," you're the type who roots for Rizzo, not Sandy (at least, not until she puts on those spandex pants and grabs that cigarette). Your ideal girl has been there and done that, and she's not afraid of motorcycles. She stays out late, loves to party, and will never say no to a good time. Quite the risk-taker yourself, you want a woman who can equal your sense of adventure and spontaneity. She's tough on the outside, but she'll melt around the right guy. That suits you just fine you don't want a girl who needs a lot of emotional maintenance. You're looking for a sharp-minded, rebellious gal who knows how to let loose. Grab the next Bad Girl you meet and let her bring out your wild side.

Hmmm... I can agree with it. It kinda goes along with my idea that 'All women have baggage, just pick the one with the nicest luggage" Well, if this is my dreamgirl... what am I? Lets check out the sister test, 'What Type am I?'

and [Anit-climatic Drumroll] I am a.... *Goofball*

The Description is:
You are one lucky Goofball. Why? It's a known fact that laughter is the way to any girl's heart, and a great sense of humor is your defining quality. Not only can you make other folks laugh, but you can laugh at yourself there's no bigger turn-off than a guy who takes himself too seriously. Your lighthearted attitude reveals how comfortable you feel about yourself. Women dig that kind of self-confidence and security. Face it, you're a people magnet everyone's favorite friend. There's never a dull moment with you nearby. Excitement and laughter are what you bring to the lives around you, and it makes everything a little bit brighter, which is no small thing. After all, life is too short to spend it without a smile.

hmmm... I can see the emails now. A Dozen saying 'I agree' and then another dozen saying 'Bullshit, your a bastard!' Even I dont completely agree with this, But its just a test eh?

Dont let the man keep you down!

posted by Jeff Rowe Wednesday, July 31, 2002 | permalink> | 2 comments

Thursday, July 25, 2002 - 2 comments

A Morbid yet interesting thing to find out...

Accoring to The Death
I am going to Die on November 26, 2035 at the age of 62 years old.

The most likely cause of my death will be:
Cancer (20%)
Heart Attack (16%)
Auto-Fellatio (10%)
Electrolysis (8%)
Alien Abduction (6%)
Suicide (6%)
Alcoholism (6%)

Note: This doesnt jive with my belief that I will live forever, but then again, I have been wrong before. Truth is, I plan to live forever, but rarely do my plans ever work out as 'um planned [smirk]

Some Interesting stats from the DeathTest:

12680327 people have taken the DeathTest.
Of those, 55% were female and 45% were male.
The average life expectancy of test takers is 67 years.
10% of test takers have hairy nipples.
4% have had team sex.
8% work in the porn business.
And 234291 people claim to have leprosy.

:::Tension Breaker!:::
Anyhow who the hell believes that stuff? Funny though... in order to take our minds off such a morbid topic, Lets go 'Learn to draw Breasts for Cartoons'

Toodle Oooo!
posted by Jeff Rowe Thursday, July 25, 2002 | permalink> | 2 comments

Wednesday, July 24, 2002 - 2 comments

WARNING! : Engaging Bitch Session : WARNING!

You know that damn Saturday Night Live skit, the Tech guy? Well, I get it as much as the next guy, I know that computer techs can be callous and rude. Hell, I do it myself all the time. However, I also defend myself with the basic idea that 'Basic Logic' is something everyone needs to learn to apply to all situations. I wouldnt be as likely to be rude if people woudl simply apply some basic logic and try to help themselves. "Its you job" I hear you screaming! Yes it is... however... its my job to *HELP* you, not to HOLD your hand and baby you.

You want to know how to do something in EXCEL?
Look it up in the help file...
You want me to fix the new Mystery Error your PC is getting?
Write it down or at least call me when its on the screen so you can read it to me...
Experiencing intermitent problems that dont seem to be related to any one program?
Understand that it will take me time to diagnose it, there is no SuperFIX...

The instigating issue today is with another IT guy. His laptop is used to logon from home by modem. His Virus protection isnt updating like it should be whenever he logons on. He tried to manually do a LIVEUPDATE but it gives him an error. He wants me to provide him withthe update on a floppy or CD.

The Problem with this:
* He didnt bring his laptop in with him, so even if I had an answer, it will have to wait till he is at the machine.
* He didnt write down or remember any part of the LIVEUPDATE error. Making this information Useless to me...
* The Update is 6mb, making it to big for a floppy. I'd burn it to CD but what is the point? This only fixes the problem for now, we need to fix the WHOLE Problem...

Now after 15 minutes of Q&A where I ask alot of Q's and he gives me almost no A's... he suddenly decides to mention that he is manually killing his logonscript when he signs on remotely. This is a bombshell... Why I ask? He says it is locking his machine up and if he doesnt kill it then the machine will lockup withing the first 2 minutes online. This is amazing... he has found a workaround for a MAJOR problem with his machine... and then doesnt see how killing the program that does the virus updates on his machine might be the actual cause of his virus defintions not updating. Its like telling me your car wont go into DRIVE, and failing to mention that right after you start the car you then turn it right back off.

I can feel the headache coming on... the vein in my forehead starting to THROB...

So... just a note people... Friday, July 26th, 2002, is System Administrator Appreciation Day. [ SysAdminDay.Com ] Sometimes I wonder why how much longer it will be before a sysadmin goes nuts and goes on a rampage with a highpowered weapon of mass destruction. Then the world would be able to interchange 'going postal' with 'going sysadmin'? Its only a matter of time I am sure.


posted by Jeff Rowe Wednesday, July 24, 2002 | permalink> | 2 comments

Monday, July 22, 2002 - 0 comments

Its all a part of my master plan...

Its Monday, and I am so tired. I dont know why, I got plenty of sleep. In fact, this whole weekend i got more sleep each night than normally needed. Except with this heat, its been wearing me out quicker and quicker. Oh my, maybe I should have gotten some Starbucks after all, but I am attempting to beat my addiction to that expensively sweet nectar of the gods.

This weekend was a full one, Friday I didnt even leave work until 9:45pm because I had to stay an rebuild a critical machine. Of coarse it was NT 4.0, which hated the hardware, and so I wound up starting from scratch. Then to locate SP6... it was not alot of fun. Left here, changed my clothes, grabed 2 beers at Downings and aw hell, I was in bed by 12:30am. Saturday I had a wedding reception to goto. Slept in late, did a little running and got lunch. I was only an hour late to the reception. Which didnt matter because it was still another hour till they served food or introduced the wedding party. John and Michelle looked great, thier son Dante was cute as a button and didnt stop moving the whole time i was there. I stuck around till they were almost done and then headed out to Leahs. Everybody else had plans and all, so I stuck it out at Leahs watching movies and talking. Sunday I had Keiths graduation party at 1pm, which actually turned out to be 2:30pm. Anyway, it turned out to be Dave, Veronica, and myself, Mark was still busy from the wedding the night before, Tom went back to indianapolis, Momo had to work... and everyone else was relatives of friends of the family. We escaped after a few hours and went to check out Gino's in Libertyville. We had worked there when it was Edwardo's and to see it so divided up and decorated different, very wierd!

:::Allison Update:::
I talk to her whenever I get the chance. The kids are adjusting well, doing lots of swimming and all. Ali got a Cellphone (welcome to the 90's) and has been out relearning the town and doing her fair share of dancing/drinking/living it up. Hopefully some of her Interviews will pan out this week. She is enjoying being in Texas again, but like I said before. Like it or not, she is now more yankee than Texan... too much time up her with us Illinois Flatlanders. She was telling me about a baseball game the family went to, it wasnt a pro team, they were called the 'Missions' and thier MAscot was a Taco. Now I dont care what you call the team, but if having a Taco as your mascot isnt the least PC thing I have ever heard. I already know what the teams nickname is... didnt even need to think about that. hehehehe...

The Internet: A Perpetual Source of amusement
Surf the web long enough and you can find anything. Know the right search engines, and anything is a 1/2 dozen links away. I have found things after a dozen link throughs, and then been able to locate them using only google and a couple well written keywords. Its fun, a talent, and neccesary when you loose your bookmarks, forget to bookmark, or lockup the PC in the middle of surfing. Anyway... here is some of the crap I recenty surfed up:

Porn Store Clerk Stories - A Journal of stories by a female Store Clerk... pretty damn funny...

The Social Issues Research Centre has an interesting article, its thier Guide to Flirting, covering everythign to why, when, where and how. Get a little brush up, see what you have been missing (or not getting)

This should be part of the Highschool/college Curriculum 'How to order a beer in 47 Languages... its published by the Esperanto League for North America... Wanna Learn Esperanto by email?

Ship-of_Fools :The Magazine of Christian Unrest. - Seems to be a site for a little poking of fun at those who take thier religonn to seriously. Check out thier Gagets for God section to see the various services/products they have found, offered up in the name of god. Heheheh...

And I found this supposedly True story from Nasa's Early days...

In 1966, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission took the astronauts near Tuba City where the terrain of the Navajo Reservation looks very much like the Lunar surface.

Along with all the trucks and large vehicles, there were two large figures dressed in full Lunar space suits.

Nearby a Navajo sheep herder and his son were watching the strange creatures walk about, occasionally being tended by personnel. The two Navajo people were noticed and approached by the NASA personnel. Since the man did not know English, his son asked for him what the strange creatures were and the NASA people told them that they are just men that are getting ready to go to the moon. The man became very excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.

The NASA personnel thought this was a great idea so they rustled up a tape recorder. After the man gave them his message, they asked his son to translate. His son would not.

Later, they tried a few more people on the reservation to translate and every person they asked would chuckle and then refuse to translate. Finally, with cash in hand, someone translated the message, "Watch out for these guys. They come to take your land."


Later Daze...
posted by Jeff Rowe Monday, July 22, 2002 | permalink> | 0 comments

Tuesday, July 16, 2002 - 2 comments

Why do birds suddenly appear? **UPDATED**

My partner in Crime is gone, off to the 'Big, Bright Starry Skys" of Texas. Who will keep me out till all hours of the night? Who will watch movies with me till the wee hours of Dawn? Who will nickname me after strange Mexican Vegetables and fruits? Its wierd thinking that in the last 6 months I have become such good friends with someone I had worked with for so long. It wasnt long enough... and I am also going to miss Madison and Austin, guess I will have to bribe Ali into sending me pics of all three of them every so often... Or ELSE! [Hear that Ali?]

Thanks goto Joe [] for helping me get my site back up again. Thsi time it was my dumb a*s fault. I never updated my CC info and when they couldnt charge me they just turned me off. Of coarse, by the time I knew it I had no way to pay them. I am a dumba*s sometimes...

In Other News, Sharon G. is working at Medline now... She just started Monday. She hasnt been around for quite a while, but I am sure to run into alot now. Hopefully Medline doesnt drive her nuts, as it has done to so many of the rest of us!

Keith is in town and is having a party of somekind, graduation maybe? It is this sunday, starting after Noon. Dave and veronica will be there, and Maybe Mark too. I guess I will show up, see whats going on and all.

Things I found while Surfing...
I used to have a hardcore love of Little Punker Chicks... and now I have realized my true Love of Short Brunettes, then I go surfng and find a site run by a Cute Little Brunette Punker Chick [Black-Tears] She is adorable, though the hair is probably a dyejob, but I love the look. Too bad I am probably close to twice her age. [smile]

Ever visted one of the Online Talking Dictionaries? They have audio files of the words being pronounced, well at Dictionaraoke they have taken these various files and connected them together over Kareoke music to recreate various songs and such. They even take ones you create too...Check out classics like Iron Man, Aint Nothin but a G'thang, Enter Sandman, or Allstar. The music is sometimes crappy midi sounding junk, but some of them use the real music. [Credit to]

Ahh, its good to be back!

Bzzz Bzzz!

posted by Jeff Rowe Tuesday, July 16, 2002 | permalink> | 2 comments

Friday, July 05, 2002 - 7 comments

Make me a Turkey Pot Pie!
Updated before posting - Blogger was down for the weekend

Happy Belated 4th of July to all you Heathens and Bastards out there. I hope the excesses of eating, drinking, explosions, and festivities has left you in a good place. I myself am nursing an Anti-Hangover. This is the Dull/Throbbing/Blahish feeling when you didnt manage to get drunk at all on the night before. You drink lots of water only to drown your lack of hangover sorrow. People walk around you saying 'Wow, you partied it up?' and all you can say is 'No... had 2 beers all day'

The Mundelein Fireworks were good, but Libertyville's were partially visible over the trees and they started before us, thier finale strted at the same time as ours, and then lasted almost 15 minutes longer with an ending that looked like WWIII was coming. Of coarse, I had 3 groups of friends at the show, none of which I could locate AND keep track of, and none of which would sit anywhere near each other, so I stuck near the food tents with Kate, Pie, Rob, and Deb... Katie and Jenny came over and hung w/ us for a bit too.

This weekend isnt anything big. No Actual Plans that I can remember [grin] and a complete lack of energy to plan anything more productive than going to see 'MIB2' and cleaning my truck [Gak! Did I just say that?] Um... Ok... Onto other things... UPDATE: Saw MIB2, it rocked... didnt clean my truck but I did do Laundry and folded it. Hehehe...

Sometimes it hits you like a brick, sometimes like a feather pillow, and othertimes like a feather pillow filled with bricks. Life is never simple. Its exactly like the intro to 'A Tale of two Cities'... "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the..." a never ending loop of perspective. On one hand my life is currently directionless, on the other I am decently accomplished. Its all the frame of reference, how and where you look at it. In the heat of the moment things seem incredible... I couldnt be happier... outside those moments things look bleak. No possibility of making those moments permanent, and nothing else quite matching up to them. I wouldnt miss any of it for the world... but living this way can be damaging to the soul.

Intense Personal Amusement Alert is SITE#1 when searching GOOGLE for 'pictures of people having sex in wierd places'. If that isnt the most amusing thing ever... I actually had to follow the link to see how I had put all those words on a single page [smirk]. Then again, GOOLE and has me at #1 for 'kill joe trickey'.

Anyhow... off to do some more work and etc... and just to tide you over, here are some things to titilate you:

-All you needed to know about the PowerPuff Girls
---Where do Goth Girls hang out when they are horny?[credit]
-----When Pretend Jail goes Wrong [credit]
------- Do you think there are any Houses for Sale... [credit]
--------I assure you... we are open!... [credit]
---------Check out other «chicago blogs»
-----------Or look up some BlogSnobs

Asta la' Pasta
posted by Jeff Rowe Friday, July 05, 2002 | permalink> | 7 comments

Tuesday, July 02, 2002 - 6 comments

What the Hell is a Jicama?

I have been renamed Jicama by Allison... at first I was convinced that she was smoking something very wierd, after all she doesnt have work for the next few weeks. She even looked it up in my Ancient Dictionary at home, which of coarse it didnt have it... having probably predated the major explosion of spanish/mexican slang and culture into english dictionaries. Of Coarse, on has it...

A crisp, sweet turnip-shaped root vegetable (Pachyrhizus erosus) used raw in salads and as crudités or cooked in stews. Also called Mexican turnip, yam bean.

I have as of yet not figured out if this is a compliment or not... beign used raw in a salad sounds like fun, but I am still being called a turnip... hmmmm.


posted by Jeff Rowe Tuesday, July 02, 2002 | permalink> | 6 comments

Monday, July 01, 2002 - 6 comments

Drunk on the Fourth of July

Thats the plan, plain and simple, no frills, black and white, Bobs your uncle. Its the same Day of the '4th' plans that I have had for several years now. I havent managed to make it work all that well, but I always give it my best. Now as for the Where, When, and How... I dont know yet. I am watching the P's place and the animals that day, and I have an invite to Jessica's too. I plan to spend the day w/ a specific person, but who knows if that will happen. The comlexities of not planning ahead... nothing is ever simple!

Remember when your parents hated your music and always tried to get you into thier music? Your probably always said 'I would never do that to my kids... but have you heard soem of the crap on the radio these days? 'Dont leave your childrens musical tastes to chance - indoctrinate now!' is the Cry of where they are selling a CD full of Lullaby versions of the great punk songs so you can brainwash them into Non-Conformity in no time! And Coming soon is Dance Baby (Club Dance Music) and Rock Baby (Rock Classics) for those parents with other tastes.

I had a very Full weekend, Friday night was Ali's Going Away Bonfire at Nicks house. Ali did a good job of having a few too many early on. The crew was there, Angel, Khatwani, Nick, Reime, Schon and Duxia, Lias & Liz. We managed a good time. Here are the Pics... though I forgot my Flash Card so there were not many. Saturday was mainly hanging with Leah, Zoe, and Ali, wound up meeting up with a few people for drinks later on but it was a bit dull. Sunday we trie dbut failed to get to the Renfair early... and instead wound up there LATE in the day. We stayed till close, and had a damn good time.The 6-30-02 Renfair Pics are here Overall it was a long sweaty weekend... I praise the work of Bruce K and my Dad, thank them for my Central Air!

I will have some new pics of Leah, her attempt to recreate her B&W Picture with the fireplace wasnt as easy as it sounded. Turns out you cans sit with your arms on your knee's when your 5 months pregnant. Ony 4 more months for her... and then watchout!

Slashdot did a story on a site that has a very interesting Idea... I had heard of it before, but hadnt really put much thought into it. Its and they have a type of Read and Release program. You register with them and list all the books you have read... providing a kind of community... then you can choose to release some of your books, by registering them and putting stickers on them, then leaving them in disclosed areas to be taken in by someone else. Looked for or stumbled upon, the new person can register the book per the sticker and read and release again. Allowing you to track others thoughts, and where your book is now. Check it out... share your favorites...

Read and Release at The Karma of Literature...

Adios Muchachos!
posted by Jeff Rowe Monday, July 01, 2002 | permalink> | 6 comments