Monday, March 25, 2002 - 3 comments

And so end the last days of RobtheBachelor...

In the beginning there was drinking, partying, and wanton nudity. Now, in the last days, we have celebrated Robs last days as a bachelor. Here it is, just day two after the jolly event and already I mourn my fallen comrade. [Start Blatant Flame Bait] In less than 2 weeks he will become Mr. Debbie Biank [End Blatant Flame Bait] and then we will only see him on holidays and when he occasionally escapes under the security fence. A million possible flames and rips come to mind... but I will lay off for now... till I get a really good one I just have to post.

The most unfortunate part of the whole Bachelor party was that they didnít allow cameras into any of the places we went, so unless I can get one of those 'Long Term Memory to PC' converters... the only way I can do any damage to Rob is by telling the story of all the dirty dirty things he did to those strippers.

So, to all those who missed it, you suck and should have done whatever was necessary to go with us... while the strippers sing praise of our group, our singles, and our studliness, you shall only be mentioned as those who didnít attend. Damn you all, Damn you all to a stripperless hell! [Grin]

Later Chico...
posted by Jeff Rowe Monday, March 25, 2002 | permalink> | 3 comments

Wednesday, March 20, 2002 - 0 comments

Who are all the people in my Neighborhood?

I asked myself the question... who are the people who come to my site? Well, aside from narrowing certain people who hit my site by using NsLookup and such, the only way to really know who hits my site is by how they get here. So I goto my trusty secondary tracking setup and guess what? The people finding and coming to my site are a bunch of scary perverts! Look at this shit they search for:

Yahoo: "Lenny the Legends"
Google: "leah is pregnant"
Yahoo: lenny the legends mchenry
Google: aunt played with my penis
Google: birthday spankings
Google: "ask me about my penis"
Google: webcam chicago girl
Google: passed-out pictures

I am frightened! Very, very, frightened! And all I have to say is... if you are the chick who searched for 'Ask me about me penis'... drop me an email... and ask me about mine [wink]


posted by Jeff Rowe Wednesday, March 20, 2002 |
permalink> | 0 comments


I am too damn lazy to redesign my Web page
Note: This was posted on Monday... but wasnt readable until 1:30am on Wed. Sorry...

I have been having a major itch to redo my layout, make it more CSS compatible, tidy up the PHP code and finish the various bits and pieces I have left undone. Add in the User authentication I have been ignoring and make it work with the New Forums. My laziness has won out... god I suck...

My weekend was nothing too spectacular... I went out with Mark and Ally on Friday night, drove Angel home, met up with Rob, and ended the night listening to horrible Karaoke at the Last Chance Saloon in Grayslake. The highlight of the evening was realizing that Ally lives next door to the source of All Evil... She actually lives next door to the Parents of Kevin 'Big Daddy' Kane. You'd think that they would have been warned... doesnít this fall under standard disclosure policy [smirk] Saturday night, Rob and I headed up to Lenny the Legends in McHenry where we met up with Pie and Mark. Eventually Pie tried to drag us all to a Tittie bar, a pre bachelor party type thing... Mark and I went to Half Day, and I later heard that Pie was surprised at the admission price. Guess he never knew it was $20 to get in and $20 standard for Lap dances. There is cheaper, but itís not common. Sunday I met up with Molly [See the Pics], she came in from Kentucky with Her boyfriend and his buddy. They were pretty cool, we had breakfast and then went to Gurnee Mills to visit an old buddy who is working at the Starbucks there. I then went home and slept on and off on my couch. Damn I am a fun fun Guy!

My feelings... My Views... My webpage... Despite the fact I feel we are a horribly over medicated society, sometimes there are pills and drugs that just make the world a better place. I am sure that at sometime in my old age I will be singing the praises of Viagra or one of its cousins. However there has now been an announcement of a pill that will undoubtedly make the world an incredible Utopia. Here is a Pill that can delay a Womanís Period... its provides women with a better quality of life, and increased health. The pill is expected to decrease the number of periods a woman experiences down to 4 a year. As a man, I simply smile... and think quietly to myself that 'There is a God... and he is a man!' [wink]

On a lighter note... I have had my name in the papers before, for things good & bad. I can even imagine having to deal with the world if I was ever busted for something like this:

Stephen Hall, of Kensington Road, Hull, pleaded guilty to one charge of buggery with an animal and received 6 months in Jail.

Guess that is what you get when you screw a goat where others can catch you... and with the internet nowadays... you become an instant star. Once he's out I bet he gets his own line of Porno's.

This leads into my next topic... Are you addicted to Internet Porn/Sex? Take this simple test to determine if your love of has gone too far. Check out the rest of some very interesting articles.

posted by Jeff Rowe Wednesday, March 20, 2002 | permalink> | 0 comments

Thursday, March 14, 2002 - 0 comments

No matter where where you go, there you are - Updates made

Well, the gig is up, I have been found out, its best to just come out of hiding now... to admit my wrongs and pay the price. Its hard to believe that after all these years of running and hiding, it ended like this. RobtheFormerRoommate dropped me an email with a single attachment... its the kind of thing you dont even think twice about. Then it happened... staring at me from the screen was myself... it was my wanted poster. Proof positive that I am not who you all think I am. I will now turn myself over to the authorities... I just hope they dotn know all my dirty secrets... [sob]

[Note: Go make your own wanted Poster... Hell, make one for an Ex, or your parents, friends, and family... let the world know what they have done.
Do it at FlashFace.

Okay... Okay... [Nixon Impression] I'm not a Crook! [End Nixon] It was all Rob, he did it... he killed the Lindburg Baby. I was an innocent bystander... really! Honest!
In fact it wasnt even Rob... it was Allison G! And I have the incriminating Photo to prove it! [Incriminating Photo] See?!?!?!? Doesn that prove it all? Oh... what? Damn, wrong picture... this one proves alot of things... but not what I was hoping. Um, well if anything it shows she is pure evil... and that cat, that cat is actually satan!

Darn it... the joke is just getting old... but the poster was funny... and Ally's picture is amusing. Oh, and everybody? Please ask Ally to tell you the Cat Story [wink] Note:Ally decided to write to to talk about her unusual craving for... um... well, go see for yourself


posted by Jeff Rowe Thursday, March 14, 2002 | permalink> | 0 comments

Wednesday, March 13, 2002 - 0 comments

Want in one hand and Shit in the Other...

Some people have taken offense to my openly asking my readers to buy me a 24k Gold Delorean , But my general rule is 'Fuck em if they cant take a Joke!" So in responce I have decided to Tell you what else you can Buy me if you cant afford the Delorean. [Note: Its absurd, its only $250.00 each if a 1000 of you chip in!] So, if you are a cheapskate, the second option is to Buy me a Machine Gun! Its Legal, and cool, can has its own stand, and I can fire 144 shots at a time, and I promise nto to shot my eye out, or yours for that matter! In fact I promise to use it only in case of Full out Office Warfare! No random 'postal' rampages! Honest!

Love you all-
posted by Jeff Rowe Wednesday, March 13, 2002 | permalink> | 0 comments

Tuesday, March 12, 2002 - 0 comments

That smacks of Conspiracy!

Buy me a 24k Gold Delorean! My boss' dad runs this site where he provides a way for people to sell cars. I mentioned my love of Deloreans and he showed me the 4 they had. One of them was going for $250,000.00, which is way more than the $13,000-$21,000 they normally go for. So I check it out and find out its one of 3 Deloreans that are 24k gold plated, and with 636 original Miles.... Incredible... I expect this under my tree this year ok? Go check out the site... is Stupid... enough said. I used them for my domain registration, and when a domain I want expired, it was who i turned to to buy it. I now have a healthy hatred of I emailed their support dept 4 times in the last 3 weeks and never gotten a single reply, yet I call their phone number and wait 45 minutes and get a quick and simple "your fucked" answer in no time... then they have the nerve to email me a 'how was your experience' emails to rate their support. Now, after getting told that despite the fact that the current owner has let his domain lapse, they are giving him a 35 day leeway period before they request the domain to be deleted from the registry pool and then it can be another 30 days before it actually gets deleted. so it looks like 2 month before I will be able to get my domain! Today I get an email from telling me about personalized email address'... and guess what email address they are offering me?? [checkout the email] This is funny seeing as I already own that email address and the whole domain... not to mention the fact they registered it for me. I know this is an automated service to draw in idiots but they could at least try to avoid offering a service they canít sell to the guy who already owns it!

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch...

posted by Jeff Rowe Tuesday, March 12, 2002 | permalink> | 0 comments

Monday, March 11, 2002 - 1 comment

Self Promotion is Fun

Oral Sex Donations Accepted

Sometimes you have to try anything to get attention, this time I have to thank Jocelyn [] for the Link and The Brunching Shuttlecocks for the Master Plan... This is the best way by far to advertise my site and enhance my sex life [wink]

"My Weekend" by Jeff Rowe

Friday night I went out for Beers with some work people [Jeff S, Angel, and Ally], we hung out at Red Door for a few hours. [Pictures Posted] Marko and myself stayed on and talked for a few more hours and then we went to our respective homes. Rebecca came over and we watched 'The One', after waiting so long I wan unimpressed with the movie.

Saturday I worked most of the day, but due to 2-3 annoying power flickers I gave up and stopped by my parents house in time to see then off to the Omni Gala event they had tickets to. I did get some good picks of them in their Finery [Pictures Posted] and then I headed home... I had heard that Round Lake was without power so I was going home to see how cold my place actually way [Note: 58 degrees for those who care] I then played with my new Phorum Code for a few hours and wound up talking to Jill and going to see "A Beautiful Mind" at Gurnee. It was a good movie, and I am dying to read the book more than ever. Jill was tired so we said Bye, and I went to meet up with Mark and grab a beer. We eventually wound up at Jesse Oaks for an hour or two, played some horrible Pool [I was horrible at least] and then off to home and bed.

Sunday I slept as late as possible and then got up to clean and go get lunch at Panera Bread [I love Panera Bread] They just built a new Panera by me in Round Lake and I have found that despite it being a little expensive overall, its a good place to hangout, checkout young attractive girls [They seem to like bread too] and Read [Unlike most restaurants they donít chase you out] add in the fact that their coffee is decent [Its not Starbucks] and that is why it is my new hangout. Rob came after this and dropped off the keys to Casa Del Rowe, and picked up some of his leftover stuff. Eventually Rebecca, Rob, and myself hit the late show of 'The Time Machine' at the Regal. This seems to have been my movie weekend, exhausting most of the movies currently out that I wanted to see. And here it is, to the current time, where I sit here Surfing the Web and writing my newest update. Erie!

[Miscellaneous Crap]

Anyone remember playing Dodge ball? I remember that as a bigger slower kid, I tended to be a very easy target, however I eventually found that taking the ball in the face or the gut might hurt, but the ball was easier to catch that way. This meant I then got to whip the ball at someone else, and if the teacher wasnít looking, at their face. I usually picked someone who deserved it, even if I wound up sitting the game out, or going to the principles offer. Well, this wonderful game, emphasizing the best of Physical Education and Cardiovascular fitness (Hehehe, yeah right) is now possibly on its way out. Schools are suddenly realizing that it pits the Strong against the weak, and Groups against the Individuals. Parents and the Media are outraged, fighting for both sides... Personally, it was an experience. One that I managed to live through, and helped me become more of an individual. I donít think it was positive or negative, but it was one of the things that taught me that life wasnít fair, not everyone likes me, and that somehow, somewhere, everyone has to pay [wink]

One of the big things right now in Computers is the Term 'Dead Media'. This is because our society is becoming more and more electronic in its everyday communications, meaning that the paper trail of our civilization is dwindling. Where we can look into the past using the recovered books, letters, and diaries of those long ago, we now realize that our documentation of everyday life is becoming E-books, Emails, and Web logs. The Phone and the telegraph were precursors to this... it has been going on for a long time. It isnít until now that itís sinking in, but it gets worse. Consider the fact that we have early editions of books from hundreds of years ago, some even older. Now think about the fact that the media we are using to store and backup our electronic data is not eternal. Floppies go bad, even hard drives can eventually die or loose data, Cd's have a limited lifetime, none of our current technology is made for storing data for the long haul. Now days, most people think that any data over 6 months old is useless, but 200+ years from now it will be a window to the past.
Sorry... I got all serious for a minute there, kind of funny considering where I am going with this. The whole reason I stumbled into this was to provide background on an absurd but intriguing Idea posed by renown Jaron Lanier as an Entry to the NEW YORK TIMES - Time Capsule contest, to take every 1999 New York Times Newspaper and encode it into 2 digit code known as Binary (0-1) and then convert that into a 4 digit System which would then be used in DNA sequences (A-G-C-T). This is all and well, but their idea goes on to suggest encoding this information into the junk sequences of New York City Cockroaches, and through specialized breeding they would become a sort of periodical archive. All in all, itís absurd, and to some it might even be sacrilegious, but I think it simple shows that our technology has gotten ahead of our common sense.
LINKS: NYTIME Story - Jaron Lanier's Website - The Original Proposal


posted by Jeff Rowe Monday, March 11, 2002 | permalink> | 1 comment

Friday, March 08, 2002 - 0 comments

Why oh why didnít I take the Blue Pill?

Ho-Hum... itís been one of those days. Ranging between Horrific Violence and the urge to goto sleep. I missed my 1st Thing in the Morning Starbucks and the day has been shit ever since. Stir in some Funny brewing issues involving me and some friends, and we now have a wondrous Generation X Sitcom in the making. [Gen X Ripoff] Iím just bursting with fruit flavor [End Gen X Rip-off] The only good thing so far this week, that wasnít tainted in some way, was a trip to the movies with Jill last night. We met up at Gurnee Theater and saw '40 days and 40 nights' and then got some dinner at Fridays and talked. The Movie was incredible, almost non stop laughs... and the leading lady was gorgeous [I love short Brunettes]. I had a good time, and itís been forever since I have gotten to hang with Jill. It was a nice calm Oasis in my week from Hell.

Tonight my plans are to grab some drinks at Red Door Tavern with the Work buddies, and then probably go home. Maybe rent a movie, hang with Marko or something. I donít feel like a major party or late night, plus I have to be in here tomorrow to try and catch up on work. Work I shouldnít be behind on, work I would have been 1/2 way caught up on it sit wasnít for all these stupid "I need it now issues" Grrrrr.... My blood pressure is not being helped by this. Saturday night I have no Idea... I know I planned something, but I couldnít tell you what it was.

And now back to some Inane Information...

Just when you thought LucasFilms couldnít possible turn Starwars into a bigger Money Grubbing Franchise, They how turned to a company called Fernandes to make Collectible Starwars ??GUITARS?? Check out the products The RetroRocket Model, Nomad, along with Straps, Knobs, and Picks. They look cool, but whatís the point?

Set a goal, Aim for it, and you can achieve anything... proof of this is Ramanda Bjanca of Banja Luka, Bosnia who wants to get into the Guinness Book of Records by having sex with more men than any other woman in history. She is currents boasting 1,400 Men, and seeing as she only started trying for the record a few months ago, that pretty amazing for a 21 year old. She does Charge a 10Franc 'sponsorship fee' which she defends saying that she has already had to replace one bed, and that she has to eat allot to keep up her energy. Though she hasnít turned away those who couldnít afford the price. From the other view of this, A Guinness spokesman said it's not a category they'd be interested in and says such requests for inclusion are immediately rejected.

Well... that the shape of things so far...
Know it, Live it, Love it!

posted by Jeff Rowe Friday, March 08, 2002 | permalink> | 0 comments

Tuesday, March 05, 2002 - 1 comment

Everytime you Masturbate, Gods kills a Kitten. :::Pictures Added:::

This is both a great title as well as a Link to an amusing picture. Thanks go to Napier and Jarret for this amusing picture from some website I forget the URL to.

UPDATE: I have added a new Forum Section powered by Phorum/PHP. Check it out [Link to Forum] This area has replaced the old Message Base Area, which I had broken anyway [wink] So jump in and use it. Let me know what you think.

I am in the process of waiting & fingercrossing, in hopes of picking up another domain or two. These will simply forward into this site, but will make it more easily found. Right now it would help for you all to pray for me to get these sites without issue... to whatever God you believe in. Hail to our Darklord Satan, I offer unto you this young childís soul in exchange for...

Things are going good @ Casa De Rowe. The weekend was a blast, My Friday night was fairly decent [Last Post] or [See Pictures]. Saturday Mark and Myself headed out into the horrid blizzard to go to the Brat Stop to see Our other buddy (Mark Cox) play in 'Rude Rooster'. Turns out they friggin 'Rock the Cock' (Their T-shirts say it too). They were very good despite the CockRocker they had for guitar. He had the look, moves, hair, and sound of a hairband. He wasnít a bad guitarist, but he had 5 moves and did them in a semi random repeating order. IE: I got sick of him after 5 minutes. Turns out he was in the second band too, 'Blue Steel'. Let just say I wonít be sticking around for them next time. Keep you eyes out for them at the Brat Stop allot soon... rumor is that they were very well liked and might play there a whole lot. Marko ran into an Ex Girlfriend and we followed her to the corner of 52nd and 21st in Kenosha to a place called THE BARN. Allison G met up with us despite the weather and we had a good time. Unfortunately the Sidewalks roll up early in Kenosha so we all headed back to my place for a rousing game of Crisco Twister.

[Note: Sorry... It sounded better than the truth, which was that we sat and watched the Cut and Deleted Scenes from 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. When I say we I mean Allison G and I, cause Marko pressed Play on the Remote and then passed out cold. Allison headed out when I started to doze off too]

Sunday was a good day too. I did some shopping, My Parents had bought me a Humidor as a surprise and I got the puppy Seasoned and Loaded. I decided the first thing was to get some decent cigars, a decent Humidifier device, and a gauge. I hit 'Cigars and More' in Libertyville and they helped me out allot. I will Have some pics up of the thing real soon.[Here are the Pictures] I donít smoke cigars often, but I have a few Real Cohibas and some other assorted Cubans. hen I hung out with the P's for the rest of the night... a good end to a good weekend

SideNote: The Illusive Sandra has made an appearance. She is in Sweden at the moment, and apparently still manages to check in on me. The event is commemorative, if only because it was, for once ,spontaneous.

Catch ya on the Flipside...

posted by Jeff Rowe Tuesday, March 05, 2002 | permalink> | 1 comment

Saturday, March 02, 2002 - 0 comments

Humping the Leg of Society Since 1973

Once again, after updating repeatedly during the week I actually never updated for the Weekend. So here it is, a Day late and a Dollar short. Tonight (Saturday Night) in this Minor Blizzard, Marko and Myself are heading to the BRAT STOP on 50 and 94 in Kenosha to go see a buddy of ours (Mark Cox) in a band called 'Rude Rooster'. They are playing at 9pm, so we actually need to leave very very soon... guess I should get the fuck offline right?

Anyhoo, Last night I stopped for some beers at the RED DOOR TAVERN in Mundelein, with the work people, it was fun. Got some pictures, havent had time to take pics and upload them in so long! Got some of the hottie waitress' and girls from Medline. Mark, Allsion, and myself eventually headed to DOWNINGS in libertyville and had some pizza and beer. Played some pool, and even ran into the infamous Dowinings girls (Shanna, Karen J, Karen K, Amy, Carrie, and Shannon) who were out for Karen K's birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAREN!) it was a grand old time even with Drunk Old Kurt staggering around.

Any hoo, I am out of here... The only other News is that LEAH has been at MEDLINE since Wednesday... she is actually enjoying her job. So far [wink]

Ill post some pics of Leah actually working [smirk] though many still believe she doesnt do this... I can attest to it... she does work when she isnt bothering me.

Love ya all...

Special Hello's to Allison G, and Kristen Buretta... as they just foudn out about my site last night... [wink]

posted by Jeff Rowe Saturday, March 02, 2002 | permalink> | 0 comments