Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 5 comments

I love stupid Statistics!

This morning I heard a statistic that was amusing... so I decided I would find others that made me grin...
Here they are:

*2,500 newborn babies will be dropped in the next month.
*The Average American Woman buys 665 Pairs of Panties in her Lifetime.
*40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.
*85% of men don't use the slit in their underwear.
*At any random time, approximately 0.7% of the world's population is drunk.
*It takes about 142.18 licks to reach the center of a tootsie pop.
*Any Standard Rubix Cube configuration can be solved in 17 turns.
*3.6 cans of Spam are consumed each second.
*45.2% of Americans Pee in the shower.
*35% of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
*Approximately 97.35618329% of all statistics are made up.
*99% of Readers of dont mind my bad spelling and think Joe is an Ass.

Love ya all...
posted by Jeff Rowe Wednesday, February 27, 2002 | permalink> | 5 comments

Monday, February 25, 2002 - 9 comments

1001 Recipes Using Smegma and ToeJam

I decided to choose a disturbing and nasty title, both for shock value and as a tribute to Cookie, formerly of I truely tried to make as many links to her and her site as possible, however she has chosen, for whatever reason, to leave and stop posting. I know I will miss her posts and her Cam Pics. However, I still plan to meet up with her sometime, and will try to maintain some form of email contact with her. Hopefully she waont think I am some kind of Internet Stalker Freak and stop talking to me... when the truth is I am just a normal everyday Freak... the Internet and stalking is just my Hobby!

NOTE: still lives on... Jocelyn has started posting again and hopefully will keep things lively. She's not Cookie, but she is adorable and has Purple Hair... a wonderful combination.

My weekend was fairly dull. Thats how I wanted it. Friday night I slept on the couch at hoem until going out to see 'Queen of the Damned' with Rebecca and her brother and his girlfriend. Then I came home and watched TV. Saturday I hung out with Leah for a few hours, and then hit 'RollerBall' with RobtheFormerRoommate and then met up with Marko and soem guys to grab a few beers. Two guys that Ian and soembody knew tried to take us to 'Rancho Grande' on 176 in Libertyville. This is a mexican Restaurant but apparently it has a spanish dance club in the back fo the place. Marko wasnt the only one drooling... we didnt get in but the 'Mamacitas' coming out of this place were incredible. These women were HOT-HOT-HOT. Something tells me we would have gotten our asses kicked had we made it in... I wound up spending an extra 15 mintues in the parkign lot anyways. The cops showed up for some stupid reason and clocked my car in... So much for Rockstar parking... figures right? Luckily they left me alone. We then hit Downings... which is in the middle of redecorating and frankily looks liek shit. They bought a really nice New Bar, New Liquor Cabinets, etc... and then throw up this shitty looking Paneling. Supposedly it needs to be stained but who knows. My old hangout is changing and now I feel really old. Sunday I did nothing, stayed hoem and cleaned and such. Was supposed to hang with Rob, but didnt. I stayed home Monday, due to being sick... I really hate Sinus Colds. NEver had them until a year or two ago and they really suck. Feels like soemone drove a Dump Truck up my nose and into my Brain.

And now... something way off the trail:

Its a little late... but plenty early for next year. I think Halmark should open up a whole new division for thing like these. What better way to disarm the hype of Stalking than to make fun of it? How about Stalkertines? Check out these Valentines Card Rejects at Something Awful.Com... These are great! Why stick to cheesy things like candy hearts that say "I Love You or "You Rock" when what you really want to say is "When I die I am taking you with me" or "Ill always Love you, even when your gone, Because Dead Chicks cant Say no." Now, this goes both ways too... who can deny the sentiment behind "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Remember last Month? The Father is you! Happy Valentines Day Jackass!"
And how about a Visa Valentine? "VISA... if I spend enough... I get laid right?"

NEWSFLASH: Apparently its not true, but 3 or so days ago there was a story about Lance Bass of N'sync being in talks with MirCorp to be the first Celebrity in space. Frankly I would happily donate a couple bucks if they would launch the whole damn band into space, and a couple more if they wouldnt bother with the return trip.

Useless Trivia Alert
# 1- O'Hare Airport has its own Zipcode... its 60666. I find this extremely funny for so many reasons. Does it make me rethink flying from there... maybe a little.
# 2- is the #2 Link on Yahoo when searching for "Lenny the Legend"... of coarse, I am also the #2 link on Google when searching for "Leah is Pregnant"

Check out this Review of Kevin Smiths Movie "Clerks" [Clerks: Iíll bet you 20 bucks you should rent this movie and see why the movie isnt about Dante and is instead about the Wisdom of Randal. Actually it is a good Idea to goto this site and check out all thier Movie reviews... I love thier view of things [ Movie Reviews]

L8R Dude!
posted by Jeff Rowe Monday, February 25, 2002 | permalink> | 9 comments

Thursday, February 21, 2002 - 1 comment

Well Spank my Ass and call me Sally...

Okay... someone you might be wondering where the hell I went, why my email was down and the site was "ohhh... Forbidden" Well, thats what happens when you forget to update your Credit Card info and your CC expiration date comes up without you realizing it. The Hosting company emails you to tell you that your site is down until you pay last months payment... except you were double stupid and the email address you use as your Default NON-Domain contact info isnt accessible anymore. So Here I am... back finally... but with an embarassed hue in my cheeks and an apologetic grin for all those who's lives were disturbed by the loss of my page... Hehehe, that was almost humorous. None of you really care either way do you?

Back to the Real World...

Aside from being down, I hadnt posted in over 7 days. Which is very odd for me, though I had a lot on my mind. As of right now, things are on a good track and within a week I am hoping for a positive recovery of my world view and general happiness. Let me fill you all in on some of the changes...

RobtheRoommate has moved out - This isnt new, but I figured I would have been alot more noticably alone or such. Truth is its kinda nice... I dont have to worry about anyone else beign around unless I let them in. I could (and have) dance naked around my house, sleep in the buff, or run right out of the shower and aroudn my house letting myslef air dry. Ekkk! Why have I put these pictures in your head? Cause I can... plus now I only have to pic up the messes I make... and I also have 3 bedrooms I can get nasty in! Its wonderful.

I have changed Jobs at Work - This also isnt new, but I have gotten a decent grasp on my new job and made some positive changes in the way its done. I really would liek to see a nice raise this April, and I guess my future at Medline will depend on how much they show appreciation. However in the Meatime, I actually dont dread goign into work like I did just a few short months ago.

Bills, Bills, Bills - With Rob moving out I was worried about covering the bills. plus the fact that I owe my parents money (and more!) for helping me fix the place up. this isnt totally fixed but I have taken a few steps to make it better... actually in my dread of this situation I actually made it worse. Things look good though... I dont think I will need a roommate... but I might change my mind down the line.

Any hot women who are interested can apply...

Hmmm... My weekend is going to be either at the Gurnee Marcus theater (Christmas Gift Certs rock!) or at home. Sent out all my cash for bills, and I lack any urge to spend more. I might just finance a case of Killians and a couple Videos and Veg out.

Thats it...
Damn the Man...
and Fuck!

posted by Jeff Rowe Thursday, February 21, 2002 | permalink> | 1 comment

Wednesday, February 06, 2002 - 3 comments

How do you like them Apples?

See... complaining does have an effect. I complain abou how seldom I am posting, and here I am, posting more and more. God... I am such a nag! Anyway, today I have an actual reason to post. Or at least, some funny crap that is worth posting. I laughed anyway... and I am the yardstick of humor in my world right?

I jumped to SUMDEAUS from a link at Cookies Site and found out that in Maine, it is now Legal for women to Jog in the Nude.< Apparently 2 female students from the University of Maine were arrested while jogging in the nude.The Statute says that an offense is commited if the genitals are knowingly exposed in public. The judge's intrepretation of this is that since the female genitals are mostly internal, and the arresting officer cant technically say he saw thier genitals... its legal. So I guess as long as you have a nice thick bush, or have one of those compact, everything inside, no flappy type genitals, joggin in Maine is A-OK. Guess I know where my next vacation is during joggin season [wink]

Scientific American has an interesting article on "The Physics of Crumpled Paper". Apparently the actual physics of a crumpled paper ball and its apparent strength and resistance to further compression has never been fully understood. They have actually come up with equations to explain all of this but have as of yet to include friction or plastic flow within the creased material... And all this time I was just playing Wastebin Basketball...

I have mentioned several of the 'HotorNot' type sites where you rate a personal picture using a sliding scale or 1-10. These sites range from AMIHOTORNOT to RATEMYRACK... but here is one I just thought was funny... "HowManyWouldItTake.Com" where you get to view pictures of Women (and maybe men) and rate how many beers it would take for you to jump them. The first picture I got was a real hottie and frankly I woudl have jumped her sober... of coarse she might feel the same way about me [wink] The strang part is that most of the women so far have been hotties and the scale jumps up quick... The low end is Sober, followed by 3 Beers, and then a 6pack, then 9beers... eventually to a whole 30pack. I dont know if the fact I keep having to choose "Sober" is a sign of them being Hot or me being Lonely and Horny [smirk]

That all for now... Bit me, Im done!
posted by Jeff Rowe Wednesday, February 06, 2002 | permalink> | 3 comments

1 comment

Why do Birds Suddenly Appear?

I am not Depressed! I am not suicidal! I am not even upset, not even a little! I am simply unhappy with my current situation and status in life. Most people are, it happens to the best of us. I would love to fall in deep pasionate love with any of the several women who I currently find attractive... but thats not the way things work and thats not the way they choose to work with me. Truth is that I enjoy beng single, but I still wish to feel the kind of passion and love that I have felt in the past... the kind where I know where I stand. Anyway... I wish I could find someone who understands... like Cookie... She is one of my dreamgirls and I think she of all people gets it... or I am just an ass For those who are interested in seeing the Cookie Cam pics that got me riled last post... [Here they Are]

In Case you were ever trying to locate me by doing search engine searches and didnt remember my URL... here are ways of finding me by Major Search Engine that others have used... didnt even realize these woud work... boy is my site perverted!

hot tub party pics drunk -porn -pussy
YAHOO: scantily dressed girls pics
GOOGEL: drunk girls passed out pics

-Cie La Vie!
posted by Jeff Rowe Wednesday, February 06, 2002 | permalink> | 1 comment

Monday, February 04, 2002 - 7 comments

Stop the Planet, I want to get off...

The update is way, way late... a trend is being set. From twice a week, to several times a week, back to twice, and then down to one if your lucky... lets just call it whenever I Feel like it and call it a day... mmm k? I was so busy at work on Friday I didnt have the time to piece together an update, not to mention my complete lack of plans, ideas, and things to do. It makes a nice cocktail, just add a little personal angst, some drama in the friendship area, and then stir. No need for an Olive, an Onion, or a Lime.

Work has been hectic, as I am now the Senior Desktop Guy in our team and I am trying to play catchup, reorganise our System, come up with a better system tracking setup, and handling the daily dozen 'Rush' and 'Change' jobs. I am enjoying work alot more now, but It still to much work to do for one person in 8 hours. I havent taken a full lunch hour in weeks. Hopefully when April comes it will be gladly recognised and I will see a nice pay raise... hopefully!

As for my personal angst, it is my typical rant. I am feeling lonely. My group of friends has thinned out alot, and the stuff I do on my weekends seems so repetative and blah. I have a good friend who I can cuddle with and talk to, but the fact that we are just friends is a major limiting factor. Sometimes there needs to be more... and then I go and read one of my favorite sites [Unlovely.Net] and here is my InternetGoddess Cookie and she is having the same thoughts and issues as me [See her site for her 2/1/02 Post, Possible Porn Warning] Dont get me wrong, I am not like super depressed or anything... just unhappy with the direction things are going...

-Later Babe
posted by Jeff Rowe Monday, February 04, 2002 | permalink> | 7 comments